xginaxballax

nothing really has been going on... i dont post much anymore.. but i always read my frends posts... kaila wrote sumthin about me in one.. she was writing about 10 frends.. and i was #7.. i read it and cried.. ashamed to say it.. but its true.. i love kaila soo much.. she doesnt even kno.. no one knows how much i love them... cuz if i love you.. i love you with all my heart.. and soul.. i would do anythin.. give up anythin.. say anythin for the ppl i love.. k.. enuf sappyness.. i guess thats all

hmm... nothing really has been going on.. im really bored and lazy.. i really wish i wasnt such a loser... but w/e wat can you do?.. these days im not sure who are and arent frends of mine.. they're so confusing.. relationships... wtf is the point? like actually? half the time it ends up horribly.. and ppl get hurt.. im nto talkin about bf/gf relationships either.. im talkin bout relationships in general.. frendships.. bf/gf.. family.. evrythin is just fucked

i really feel like typing tonite for some reasons.. i started writing letters to people.. but then i couldnt find a lot to say so i figured id have sum fun in my journal.. this might just be ongoing.. with a lot of these [...] in it.. becuase thats what i like to do.. and i dont feel like making not right paragraphs tonite.. we started second semester at my school today.. and i have science history business and gym.. for now.. i NEED to take civics/careers becuase its a requirement..a nd i didnt take it last semester.. which definetly sucks.. so today the did all gr. 12 course changes.. tmr they will probably do gr. 11 and then friday [maybe] do gr. 10.. so i either have to wait until friday or next week *thumbs down*... i have some pretty good classes... like the people in my classes are good.. and i at least know a few people in each class.. and can talk/sit near them and its kool *thumbs up*... the teachers all seem good so far.. ive heard good things about ms. searle.. mr. allen.. and im not sure about mme mallet-jones or miss van veen.. so we'll just have to see abotu that... oscars are this firday.. ad thats cool... ive already had a rant about how i dont want to go because.. its semi so i wont rant again.. im gonna wear my gr. 8 grad dress yet again.. just becuz i didnt find anythin that i could buy.. therefore... im wearing it.. i dont know wahts happenin with my hair/makeup becuz i THINK lauren,amy.alecsa,hayley and brittney are supposed to do all that.. but im not sure... soo umm... i guess ill have to talk to them about that.. hmmm.. it should be a fun night.. because... its an awards night.. and a dance.. and its supposed to be a lot of fun.. so woot woot??? we'll just have to see.. i was supposed to chill wit kat tmr.. but she has to look after tara.. so thats not happenin.. but s'all good... we gon chill his weekend.. hmm.. i dont know what else to write.. and this is getting kind of boring.. i culd tell you about other things.. but ill save that for another day

kaite

P.S. THE OTHER KATIE SI BACK AND TROY AND ASHLEY NOW GO TO MY SCHOOL AND I AM SOOO HAPY ABOUT THAT BECUZ THEY ARE ALL GREAT PEOPLE

well... i havent been up to much l8ly.. my brother and dad got back from ther hockey tournament.. and now i guess things are normal?... w/e normal can be in this house

thursday night i randomly went over to pasceles and slept over ther.. didnt really sleep much tho.. like 3 hours? it was a fun night.. we talked about how girly she is wen she likes a boy.. and its pretty funny stuff... i like making fun of her.. then i came home friday afternoon.. and did nothing for the rest of friday...

saturday my momma n me went to st laurent.. and shopped a little bit.. and ate a little bit.. and watched half of the grudge at the new theatre that got opened in the basement where cyberdome was.... thats was pretty kool.. except for all the friggin ppl who wer talkin which led to us leaving the theatre.. besides the fact that my mom was falling asleep out of bordem... it was funny.. then on the way home i called katherine to tell her about the new theatre.. because we go to st laurent enough that its kool that they have a theatre ther that we can randomly go to sumtimes.. her brother and his wife's family wer at her house so we didnt talk long..

all of this weekend most of my frends from st pats wer studying because ther are exams today and tmr... so i couldnt really call them up... i could have done things with my frends from canterbury.. but i unno.. i didnt feel like it.. all of sunday i pretty much stayed on the computer and ate a lot of food.. it was a good day i guess.. now its monday.. and i am doing nothing yet again... our bathroom is being re-done and i cant take a shower unless i go to my aunts.. so im waiting for my brother to go to my aunts and i can tag along

my aunt and gramma just got back form cuba!!!! i missed them... we usually see them AT LEAST once a week.. and i love it.. cuz we are a close family.. and its fun.. so thats why im waiting for tommy to go over ther so i can see them aswell... its also my momma's birthday tmr.. i didnt get her anything =S... i want to.. but i havent.. because they wont get money out of my own account unless i give them a reason.. and i dont wanna be like "Hey! can you give me money so i can buy u a gift?" cuz they'll say "noo... dont waste ur money" soo.. im kinda screwd.. i think me n tommy will probably buy her flowers like we do almost every year.. w/e.. she likes it... i hope...

well... i got an email from miss st amour today.. and she said they have a game next monday.. so ill be going to that so i can see her and talk to her.. im gonna tell her about my frend.. cuz i know she'll be able to help.. hopefully.. im happy i have the right email now.. cuz now i can email her and it actually get to her wen i havent see her for two weeks... man.. as if its been that long... it feels wierd.. going from everyday.. to evry once in a while... not fun... but w/e at least i do still see her every once in a while.. and not never

something was rong with my lil sis yesterday.. but she wouldnt tell me wut.. i was kind of worried.. because earlier wen we wer talkin she outta nower said that she ws "fat and ugly and i can prove it" and someone had posted on her site that she was "fat and ugly" she totally agrees with it.. but i definetly dont.. and i know A LOT of ppl who dont.. but shes liek that.. she thinks shes fat n ugly.. but w.e man... i know the truth.. and i kinda didnt want to talk to her after that.. because i was sad/mad that she thinks that about herself.. but w/e.. hopefully shes ok... wouldnt be kool if she wasnt..

for some wierd reason my msn stayed on all night... it never does that =S.. and then ppl wer talkin to me this mornin.. btu i wasnt here.. and i feel bad.. cuz its a chop wen ppl dont talk to you on msn.. so i feel kinda bad about that.. i know it wuznt my fault.. but i still feel bad that i was logged on and not talking... w/e.. s'all good

i guess thats all

o yah.. i good friend of kristina's died.. and i dont know.. she's obviously sad/depressed about it.. and i feel a little helpless.. i know that she knows she can always talk to me.. but i think she just wants to be alone for now.. R.I.P. Vince.. i didnt know you.. but if u wer a frend of kristina's i know you wer a great guy

..katie..

well i havent bene on this thing for a while... and since i feel like typing tonite.. i figured id update... lately i haev been up an down good moods and bad moods.. but who isnt like that?

thers been one thing thats really been bothering me for the past two weeks.. im pretty sure ive written about my frend already.. no details.. cuz i cant give details.. but the same thing that she told me a couple weeks ago is still bothering me.. and it seems that it has just been getting wrose and worse and worse.. and she wont tell anyone about it.. ive been almost begging her to tell sumone.. but she just wont.. she says it will make things worse.. and obviously things will get worse but in the end.. evrythin will be solved and OVER WITH.. but shes afraid and i cant really do too much abotu it.. ive offered many things.. but she just wont do anything.. w/e i dont know what im going to do about this... who would ever know?

hmmm.. karla has been ok... actually shes been better then she has in a while.. sumthin happend like a week ago.. and it fucked up with alot of things... but then one of her good frends helped her out.. and now evrythin seems to be really good... and im really happy about that.. just because... i really care for her and dont liek seeing her sad... i love seeing her happy... her boyfrend n her broke up twice or three times since last update.. but they've gotten back together evrytime.. adn are together now aswell... not that i dont liek the kid.. but he can hurt her so easily.. and he has before.. and just the way he does things bugs me.. and i feel like punching him in the face sumtimes.. but.. s'all good as long as karla's happy

my dad n brother went away this weekend... for a hockey tournament.. and ther not comming back until sunday.. im actually really happy.. i feel liek a bitch but im really happy.. i definetly need a break from them.. its going to be just my mother and i for the weekend.. we're going to see a movie tmr.. that should be fun.. i like hangin out with my mom.. becuz shes my mom.. and nothing liek my dad... shes really fun..i know im gonna be exactly like her tho... and that kind of scares me.. cuz she can be quite wierd.. but who cant?

ther are these things at my skool called oscars and it is a semi-formal event.. and i really ODNT want to go.. not that i care that much about getting dressed up.. i want to see the oscars.. but i do not want to get dressed up and go to the dance afterwards.. maybe im just a big loser.. but i really dont want to go.. i think it will be another incident liek rosie's birthday party... i will haev too much fun.. breakdown.. and ruin the night for sum ppl.. sit by myself in a corner.. and feel like shit..i can predict that it will happen liek that.. just cuz i know i will have fun... it sux a lot because A LOT of people are getting me to go.. people that i actually care about.. liek amy and alecsa and sarah.. and other people as well.. i really dont want to go.. but i haev to.. and amy and alecsa and other people are trying to do me up for this [dress/makeup/whatever else?].. and we went shopping for a dress the other day after exams and ther was no luck... now i have to go shopping with my mother.. which suc because i know  she'll try to get me into sumthin quite girly.. and i dont like things like that.. but i wont be a bitch about it.. because ive already been a bitch to her recently.. and dontlike doing it too often

im surprised at the frends i have made this year.. ther are sum frends who are just frends.. adn then ther are those who are GREAT and AMAZING people who i LOVE with all my heart.. but then ther are those who i love with all my heart.. and can break my heart within 5 minutes and i am scared that they will break my heart.. not that i think that they are those kind of people.. just that thats how it has been for the past while.. ervytime i find sumone i love.. it turns around and i get VERY depressed... this is not a good feeling.. and i hate it.. but i cant help it.. i meen i guess i could stop caring for people as much as i do.. but i dont want to do that.. because... thats not fun... maybe ill just turn into sumone who has absolutly no emotions and doesnt make anymore frends.. that might be good.. be a big loner.. and not hurt anyone else like i have already

i really want to call amy at the moment.. because i am sad.. about to cry.. and i know she can make me happy.. but i dont want to call her.. because i dont want to annoy her.. i love her too much to put her in the position that i have put others in before.. i know she said i can.. but i dont want to.. becuz im scared.. evrytime i do that to sumone.. i lose them. and i don want to lose amy becuz she is just to amazing.. and it would be horrible to lose her... i dont know anymore man.. i dont want to be here anymore.. but i wont do anything.. becuz... im afraid of what would happen to the people  care about.. in my case it would be selfish this time.. becuz i have no BIG reasons to do it... i just dont want to be living.. therefore id kill myself.. selfish... so i cant do anything... im kind of angry i gave amy a written and signed agreement to not do anything to myself.. becuz at the moment i would really like to.. but i cant.. and i told others that i wouldnt.. so i cant.. ugh

i havent seen miss st amour for almost two weeks? wow.. thats so bad.. i miss her soo much.. and its so fucked up.. becuz wen i see her i pretend im just fine.. and nothing has been rong in forever.. but im actually soo sad.. and fucked up beyond any thought... but i cant tell her.. because.. i wouldnt liek her to think tht i only go see her if im sad.. because thats not kool? and not fair to her.. i really just want to see her and.. ask her one question.. and see what she says.. but im going to have to wait until like next thursday or friday.. becuz of fucking stupid exams... w/e.. hopefully i can wait another week ...

i have been ranting soo much lately.. i dont thinks its healthy.. becuz last sunday i wuz crying for a couple hours.. and then monday and tuesday wer really good days.. but then for sum reason on wednesday i kind of broke down? and became regular old depressed katie... which isnt kool at all.. becuz... im not supposed to be depressd??? according to other people.. it hink i am..just because its genetic.. but what the hell are you gonna do about it right?.. ntohing obviously.. unless i just killed myself.. but i cant kill myself.. becuz im afraid of what a few people would do.. so im holding back for now.. until i have nomore frends and no one cares if i die or not.. i know that if certain people read this they would say sumthin like "ull never have no frends.. ull always have me" and im happy about that.. but im also like.. fuck that.. thats not true for soo many people.. some people yes i will be frends for a long time.. but u can never say "well be frends forever" unless you know the future.. which no one does.. therefore no one can say that...

frig..i dont want to start ranting again.. it will be WAY too long.. ill stop now

well... since wednesday things have been really messed up... and then again nto messed up...

wednesday was a lot of fun.. and then ashley came [and i love ashley] but karla was ther too and the two of them dont really get along that well... so it got messed up.. when i would talk to one of them the other would give me dirty looks and vice versa... but w/e... s'all good now... Miss St Amour kept calling me a traitor and Mr Rowley was just being himself :P... they are two crazy kids... umm.. wednesday night i got some bad/wierd/horrible news from a frend of mine.. and on thursday i kinda went crazy and a chain reaction started.. i did sumthin and then sumone said they wer gonna do the same thing [im not sure if she did or not] then i did it again.. and now im here.. and it not that kool... but... its o.k. now... i guess..

ummm... friday i went to see miss st amour because i missed her [even thoguh i had seen her two days ago... it had seemed a lot longer] and they were having an exhibition game and i helped out with score-keeping.. kool stuff... after she said that we might go out to dinner.. but that didnt happen becuase time was cut short.. and so we are going out next week.. shes trying to quit smoking.. im very happy about that... because smoking isnt kool.. especially for a basket ball player. she might get a mustang out of it.. im pretty sure thats one of the biggest reasons shes quitting.. but at least shes trying. when my dad n mom came to pick me up we went out for dinner and i had a wrap and a salad. it was tasty... i went out to the 10-o'clock showing of Caoch Carter with katherine that night... i really liked that movie.. it was good.. and considering i hung out with kat for about half-an-hour before hand made it even better.. then i got home and went on the computer and went to bed

on saturday i wasnt planning on doing anything and then i talked to kaila and she invited me to Dave's fireside... but it didnt start until 7.. so we went to rideau.. kaila was hungry so we went to go grab a slice and then we snuck it into to the theatre and it got all squished.. which was funny..then we got some popcorn and kaila brought 2 drinks and sum fruit snack... good tuff... *thumbs up* we watched racing stripes... that was a good movie... funny stuff...i like seeing funny movies with kaila because when she laughs shes a little loud and it just makes it all the better.. then after the movie we went to catch the bus to go to daves... once we got ther we wera  little early and since she doesnt liek being early.. we started counting our steps.. which was funny stuff..i almost had to pee she was making me laugh so much. then we finally ended up at daves house.. and the fireside was really kool.. and his little brother is very cool and cute.. more so then dave *im not being meen jsut truthful*... then i came home.. and went to bed because for sum reason my tummy hurt.. then i woke up and did groceries with my papi.. and now im her on the computer.. home alone...

arent i exciting?.. i dont think so... but i like writing down things because i like being downstairs.. its fun down here.

nothing has happened recently.. thats why i havent updated... nothing significant has happened in order for me to update.. but i was bored so i fugred... hmmm.. might as well...

me n karla are cool.. back to normal id say... its koolio yo =D... im supposed to see her tomorrow... she might come to my skool to watch a basketball game... st pats vs. canterbury.. last time this happened... it was 100-21 =O... thats horrible.. but whatever... its not like canterbury had any high expectations... so s'all good... i still get to see karla because of it =D woot woot... KARLA AND MS ST AMOUR IN THE SAME DAY!!!! =O THATS AMAZING!...

me n amy are kinda scary =| we seem to be doing sum of the same things at the same times a lot?!... and its kinda wierd cuz its never planned... sunday we wer both.. cleaning bathrooms for our parents... and then monday we both wore grey and blue pj bottoms... and then today [tuesday] we both wore our canterbury jogging pants... kinda wierd... but w/e.. s'all good... i like amy.. a lot... shes a really koool gurl.. today she came to give me a hug after lunch.. and i actually hugged her back... i dont do that with many people... only a select few... so thats kool i guess...

kaila and dave are making me happy... just because she was sad this weekend... but now shes not.. and that always makes me happy =]... he did something very sweet today.. and it was cute.. and i figured he would be more sweet?.. or spontaneous?... or other things like that??,,, its kool tho.. i like it wen kaila is happy! =D

i did my french public speech today... that was kool? i guess... i did it on the history of ADIDAS... just cuz im the "ghetto" kid in canterbury.. so i had to do it on something ghetto or it just wouldnt be right... right?... wait.. im not supposed to put ghetto in quotes.. according to sarah thats wrong... cuz i actually am ghetto?... not really.. but w/e

*OW I JUST GOT A SPLITTING HEADACHE!!!!!! DOES HITTING UR HEAD HURT???? THATS WHAT IM DOING!*

ummm.. one of my frends from st pats isnt doing to great. and shes been like that for a few weeks.. and decided not to tell thinkin it would just go away if she didnt think about it.. but ummm.. that didnt happen?... and then she was sad one night... because ppl wer being jerks.. and she didnt want to tell me.. because she thinks i wont like her afterwards... btu umm... that willl NEVER happen... because i love her too much?... w/e... she can be a pessemist.. but ill love her forever... hopefully she'll be ok soon.. and talk to me soon...

hmmm... is ther anything else i need to talk about?... o yeah.. i am probably getting a membership  at the R.A. canter with Clara!!!! i saw her today!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!! i love her man.. shes amazing.. ive always loved her... even wen she did bad things... i still love her now.. and i always will!!!!!!

I AM THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN!!!!! 1ST- ITS MY BIRTHDAY! AND THATS KOOL I GUES.. I DONT REALLY CARE FOR IT.. BUT YOU KNOW HOW YOU WISH ON THE CANDLES [OR UMBRELLAS]? WELL I GOT MY WISH!!!!! I ACTUALLY DID ON EVRY CANDLE AND EVRY UMBRELLA I WISHED THAT KARLA AND I WOULD START TALKING AGAIN.. BECUZ I MISSED HER SOO MUCH.. AND WE DID... SHE STARTED TALKIN TO ME TODAY WEN I GOT HOME!!!!! I AM SO ECSTATIC!!!! WOW IM GONNA CRY... I AM THE HAPPIEST I HAVE BEEN IN SUCH A LONG TIME... ITS AMAZING TO FEEL THIS WAY!... I LOVE KARLA.. I LOVE KAILA.. I LOVE KYLE.. I LOVE ROOPA.. I LOVE AMY... I LOVE KAT... I LOVE MJ.. I LOVE SHARLENE... I LOVE ASHLEY.. I LOVE JENNY.. I LOVE ABSOLUTLY EVRYONE WHO IS IN MY LIFE... THER ARE JUST SO MANY OF YOU I CANT NAME ALL OF YOU!... I LOVE EVRYONE... AND I WILL BE BACK LATER NO MATTER WHAT.. NO DYING AND O RUNNING AWAY FOR ME.... IM JUST TOO HAPPY TO DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

hmm... well not a whole lot has been goin on.. im depressed again.. wanting to die.. btu i dont think im going to kill myself.. just run away.. yeah.. its cowardly.. but i really dont give a shit.. id rather run away and be a coward.. then stay here an prolly kill myself... i sound like a big pussy.. but i dont give a shit.. i wanna kill myself.. but i know that if i do that.. then some shit would get so fucked up.. so im just gonna run away... i thoguht about it last night... wut i would do n evrythin... and it seemed like a pretty good way to go.. so yeah... but i wont do it yet.. becuz i know that sumone would feel that it wuz ther fault.. and prolly do sumthin really stupid.. so im gonna wait for a bit.. til a few things cool down... then ill go

new years eve was pretty fun.. i didnt have anything planned... but then i got a call in the afternoon from sum frends asking me if i wanted to go see a movie... i was like.. sure.. that sounds kool... so we went to see meet the fockers [again] then after the movie we went to a party at this chicks house... and that was fun... i was looking after this drunk chick for a li bit... but then all the boyz had to leave... and my best guy frend had nower to go... so he asked me if he could crash at my place and i just called up my dad.. and he was pissedbut he let him stay.. it was a funny night.. consdiering he was high on E

me n my "little sister" arent really talking anymore.. and thats pretty fucked up.. i miss her alot.. and i want to talk to her.. but i know we wont for along time.. because what i did was rong.. i shouldnt have written that email.. i totally lashed out at her for NO REASON AT ALL... i was angry.. and i took it out on her.. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT?! ... like i care more about her then i have cared for a person in quite a while... and i go and fuck evrything up in one email... im an idiot and i know it.. and now im makin kelly the in between gurl.. and i feel like total  shit for that too... cuz i meen fuck.. who puts sumone that they care about in the middle of ther best frend [my "little sis"].. and sumone they used to care about [me].. like actually?

w/e man.. im an idiot.. and i lost two frends over it.. so i guess i should just die and never do that againa.. cuz i know that if i stay here and make more frends... ill just do it over and over again.. its like a cycle that my brain goes thru..

step 1- make a very good frend

step 2- find out that i really care for this person

step 3- brain freaks out because it cant handle emotion

step 4- lashes out at frend

step 5- never talks to that person again

step 6- becomes depressed and wanting to die

step 7- hopefully kills myself or runs away

no isnt that just great?... of course.. maybe ill just never talk to anyone again... all the frends i have now ill just fuck up all those relationships.. then ill have no frends.. and just sit around in my room.. sounds fun.. i think ill do that tmr... if i dont die first

wow... im in pain for sum reason.. i think it might be because i have been walkin around malls for the past two days... but w/e.. im tought... i guess... thats what ive been told

hmm.. well today i hung out with katherine and M.J..... it was alot of fun.. cuz it was mostly pointless things that we did.. and wen i look back on it i laugh.. first we went to st laurent and walked around in circles and looked at sum stores for sum fun.. then we decided to bus over to rideau... so we walked around rideau fr a bit.. and made Kat buy a new addidas bag cuz she didnt have one.. and M.J. and i thought it wuz a must...  then katherine actually ended up liking the bag and evrthin was kool... then after rideaus we went to M.J.'s house and chilled there for the night... we ate pizza then went to blockbuster to rent a movie.. but M.J. couldnt decide.. so we went back empty-handed.. then we went on the computer out of boredem.. then we ate sum more.. but this time it wasnt pizza... it was chinese food =D... then we went back on the computer.. and talked with ppl and had fun joking with M.J.... then i came home

wen i came home i got greeted with "why didnt you call?!!?! OR pick up the phone when I CALLED??!?!?!:...by my father...  i said i asked tommy to tell him i was comming home over MSN... but my brother didnt deliver the message.. so i got in trouble.. but w/e... its all good i guess... now i am on the computer beign a wierdo... but its kool.. cuz im always a wierdo =]..... sumthin wierd happened to me last night

i was talkin with these two gurlz from celtics [Jenny n Ashley].. and i went wacko... i was in a good mood.. cuz i had hung ou with media all day.. but then for sum reason i slipped into 'depressd katie' which is never kool.. and started lashing out in a wierd way.. like saying that they dont love me and saying sorry for absolutly evrythin.. and wow.. it was just really wierd.. because i dont think i even ment any of it.. mayeb i did... but i hope i didnt.. because it was pretty mean stuff... but then i talked to both of them again today.. and evrythin was fine... so im happy about that =]... they both found out about my "suicidal tendencies" but they dont take it like evryone else does... which is a very good thing... because all they say is... "woah".. and "its ok"... and silly things like that.. which i love.. because they're real... and not dumb... which is kool =]

i made this new friend from canterbury over the holiday pretty much.. her name is Amy.. and shes TOTALLY kool... i absolutly love her... i can talk to her about anything.. and i can trust her... even though ive talked to her practically under 15 times... shes totally kool tho.. and a very great frend.... i LOVE talking to her.. because she isnt liek other ppl.. shes honest.. but careful at the same time.. and... its kool how i can trust sumone that quickly.. i have done that with sum other ppl.. but gotten heart-broken.. but then sum other ppl aswel... and its turns out well.. bout thers sumthin different i liek about amy.. i dont know why.. i just think shes a really kool gurl.. who i am really heppy met and got to know... shes very kool.. and i hope that nothing goes rong with her like it has with other ppl that i care about

mr n my lil sis are kind of awkward... its not all that kool in my perspective.. just because... it shouldnt be like this.. i shouldve been able to say what i said and her not have taken offense in any way... because ther was no reason  for taking offense... but if she did i am sorry about that.. and i didnt meen it.. but if things are awkward then hmm... what does that say about our relationship?.. if things can get awkward that fast/that easily... then does that really meen that we have astrong relationship... that we can call eachother sisters still?... i wonder these things sumtimes wen i am thinkin about my frends... if things can change so quickly over sumthin that seems so small... then what does that say about evrythin else?... does it say that the relationships wernt strong to begin with?... or just that what i did was actually really rong and i shouldnt have done?.... mayeb i think to hard into these things.. i dont know.. but i do think about them occasionally.. and i always think about them wen i am not in a good mood.. therefore have a  bad outlook on what i am thinking about

i guess thats my rant for the evening...

sorry if it was kind of long =S

I am bored!!! really really bored... i havent written in this thing in FOREVER!!!.... OVER A MONTH!... k well.. hmmm

Grounding is over... which is kool.. but ther are still sum ristrictions... but w/e.. never really cared in the first place =P.. but yah ive been doin sum stuff lately i guess.. chillin wit frends n stuff... umm.. mostly chillin witkat n mj... my two lil gangstas.. and chillin wit my lil sis too!!... shes doing a lot better now... goin to be goin to skool again on the 3rd wen it starts up again... i like her mom!!... shes so cool!... ehehehehehhe... i feel like a loser.. "Hey your mom is so cool!".. heheh w/e man.. i dont care.. she is kool... umm.. basketball season is quite over... we cam in 4th in teir 2... thats pretty ok.. i guess... considering all the drama that happened.... but its kool.. we had our little party like a month and a half after the season was actually done.. but w/e... umm... lately [a.k.a. Christmas Break] ive been really missing some ppl from Cnaterbury =[... like Kaila n Roopa.. and Sarah... and alot of ppl.. i talk to them on MSN and such.. but its not kool... cuz im used to seeing them like EVERYDAY.. and i havent seen them in a week =[.... but s'all good.. ill see them soon enuf.. i guess

MEDIA'S IN OTTAWA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOT WOO! I AM EXCITED!! im gonna see her tommorow and, if i can get a hold of him, kyle too!!!... im so happy shes here!... i was so excited yesterday.. i was about to cry!... hopefully she'll come on MSN soon and we'll figure out some plans and have some fun tommorow.. WOOT WOOT IM SO HAPPY!!!.. im being a big loser now tho.. so ill stop

I am really tired.. so if any of that didnt make sense.. im sorry =P

Hello all,

well i havent been on this thing for a while.... not kool.. but thers really not all that much to catch up on.. so thankfully this will be yet another short entry.. but who really wants to read about my life anyways rite?

well... the groundin has been cut down to.. aloud to be out as long as i call... ive been to most of the st pats jr. girls bball games and tournys... and theyve been so cool... my dad gets a little angry.. i think he thinks im trying to take advantige of my priviliges or what not... but w/e man.. if hes gonna let me.. im gonna do it... if he says no.. then of course ill come home.. but honestly.. evry chance i get im gonna get outta here

umm.... i finally know whats goin on wit my lil sis.. and im still quite worried about her.. but im not really sure what exactly to do.. or what exactly to say.. and she still hasnt been goin to celtics at all... and hasnt called her coach.. or emaild her.. and doesnt talk to really any of her frends from celtics.. and wenever i call shes either not ther.. or busy.. and im so worried.. i got so upset today wen i found out she wasnt going... i actually punched lots of things and my hand hurts a bit... but w/e man.. ill talk to her soon.. like it always happends.. so hopefully shes arright and i dont have to worry as much as i am... and hopefully shell call me if she needs too

umm... skool ball was goin good.. then it got MASHED... we wer 4 and 1.. and then we had no real coach for 2 games and we lost both of those.. then we had one prac. wer our coach attended then a game the next day... and lost that one... so then we became 4 - 4.. we have one more game on friday versus LBP.. and im hoping that will do arright

umm.. i guess thats all.. im loving canterbury.. and im missing all my frends from pats ='[... not cool... but im gonna see most of them sooon =].. very koool

...goodbye...

..katie...

Hello all

welll i got yet another letter from another teacher... and mm.. im grounded with and "indefinate ending"... meenin.. m grounded till "i prove im doin better in skool".. which can be anywer from 2 weeks.. to 3 months.. but w/e s'all good...

ive been a lil worried about my lil sis lately... sum of her frends have been tellin me they havent been seeing her in skool.. and she quit her skool team.. and frig.. shes just makin sum dumb choices.. and its not kool... but w/e.. ill have a talk wit her sumtime soon... she came to my skool on friday at lunch.. and she left at the end... which made her late gettin back to skool.. so i unno if she skippd or actually went back to skool.. btu i know she didnt go to her game that night.. but w/e.. ill talk to her soon

umm... im goin to jessica's today to do a french project.. that'll be kool... at least i get to get out of this freakin house... im so bored man.. i wanna play ball so much.. but its too cold out.... w/e...

...goodbye...

...katie...

Hey,

umm... arright basics... b-ball's good.. we're 3-1... and we got 2 games next week.. we won our last game by 18 =]...

skools shit.. teacher sent note home.. and paretns grounded me for the first time EVER... and ya.. i had LOTS of plans this weekend... but since "God" (if ther is a God) hates me.. of course i cant do them

life.. been wanting to cut REAL bad lately... its actually bad.. cuz i keep a blade in the rim of my tuque.. just in case.. and im thinkin bout killin myself more n more often

frends are still kool.. evryone's pretty ok i guess...

i guess thats all

...goodbye...

...katie...

Hello all,

well hmm.. today was an ok day i guess you could say... i was actually kidna tired/bored ALL day.. but then we had a basketball game =D.. we won=D 37-26.. i was happy.. then my brother bitcd at me.. here.. ill quote it

"why are you wearin shorts to skool?.. its cold and u just playd basketball.. u shoudlnt be wearin shorts.. ur gonna get sick!!!... i really DONT care.. but if u get sick then i get sick and evryone gets sick... so wear pants"

isnt that funny?... "i DONT care" yet im bitching like hell.. just for fun... then..

i came home showerd ate.. and umm now im here.. i think im gonna stop eating for a while.. just cuz.. i feel like it.. and eating is WAY over-rated... u dont need to eat.. if u drink alot.. so.. im goin to stop eating.. and drink alot :).... s'all good.. need to shed a few pounds anyway:P;)... hmm...

i guess thats all i can think of...

...goodbye...

...katie...

Hello All,

well.. sincelast thursday i havent done too much... on friday i went to Kats after skool and we chilled all night.. watched a couple of movies.. ate sum pizza... had fun.. we watched Gothika =D.. i love that movie.. its so kool.. chillin with Kat is so fun man.. as if we've been frends for that long.. its crazy... i meen its been 10 years!!!!!!!!!... thats crazy... but i meen its cool cuz we know eachother sooo well.. and we're soo alike.. i dont remeber too many times wen we have lost things to talk about.. or too many things that we have totally disagreed on.. its really kool.. and its so natural.. even like wen we go to eachtother's houses.. we dont have to act any differently around eachothers parents.. cuz even our paretns know what we're like.. so its kool...

hmm.. this weekend was thanksgiving.. so i ate ALOT... i had 2 dinners.. it was kool.. except my freakin ciusin anthony was being the BIGGEST jerk... he was annoying EVRYONE!!!.. even Sabrina.. and she is actually quite hard to bug as much as he bugged her.. w/e.. s'all good.. he was ok later.. i tok sum pics.. just cuz i realized the other day that i have like NO pics of family get-togethers with my moms family.. and since we dont even see eachother all that much.. i figured.. might as well take sum kool pics so that i can remember ONE time wen we wer together.. hmmmm.. we went to my aut sally's last night.. that was kool... we had LOTS to eat.. and evryone was there.. me n Marco made a date to go see the openning of the SPONGEBOB MOVIE(NOV. 19th)... im so excited =D... umm...

thats all for now...

...goodbye...

...katie...

Hello All,

hmm.. well since my last entry ive been.... happy sad happy sad... kooland not cool at the same time

well ive been happy cuz we won our game on tues... but lost today... hmmm... it was kool winning the first.. just cuz a lot of ppl didnt have confidence in our team... so it was nice.. then today came.. and we didnt do n e thin from practise.. so Ross was gettin pissed.. and that suckd.. but s'all good... only 9 points... we'll pick it up next time

i saw Karla today =].. she came to my game=]... i love her so much man.. shes so great... my parents wer pissing me off the other day.. they wer saying i couldnt give her somethin i told her i would give her.. but w/e.. i got my way.. so i was happy... kinda nervous tho.. cuz i gotta call her mom.. and tell her why i gave her wut i gave her =P... its kool tho.. it'll be arright...

hmmm... i havent gone to see st pats this week.. im actually surprised.. just cuz.. i miss miss st amour A LOT... but i just havent had time this week.... s'all good tho.. sumtime soon... umm...

i went to celtics yesterday... that was cool... it wuz actually funny.. cuz i saw certain things that i know i couldve done better then whoever made it.. but w/e its kool... no regrets.. im still gonna support them n stuff...

i guess thats all for now... O Ya!!!!!!.. my crush =P... it is a full crush now... =].. im so shy wen im talkin bout it.. but i reall y dont care:p.. sp w/e.. s'all good

...goodbye...

..katie...

Hello all,

wuts goin on man?.. me? not too much.. im actually doing pretty good since yesterday... like im still upset that i didnt make it... but im ok with it now... ill still go to sum practises and games and stuff... so w/e....

i ahev officially declared Karla my little sister... she is the freakin COOLEST person EVER... i love her man... thats one of the reason im mad i didnt make it.. cuz like thats pretty much the only place ill get to see her.. and now i wont =(.. w/e tho... we're still gonna talk on MSN alot..  s'all good... but n e wayz... shes freakin KOOL... like... after talkin to her for like a week... she is one of the CHILLEST ppl ever... but ya.. i sound kinda obsesd so ill jsut chill on that subject

hmmm... i htink im havin an old crush come back... and im not sure if its good or not.. so... im kinda confused about it.. but ill keep u posted....

hmmm.. i guess thats all....

...goodbye...

...katie...

Hello all,

yesterday i was the most happy i had been in a while... today that all changed

i didnt make Celtics.. and im so upset about it.. ive been crying for an hour so far... and my parents areent making it any better.. they think it could be solveed by

"i told you so's" ...and... cookies

arent they smart?... i guess so... but w/e ill be ok sooner or later.. i really wanted to make it so i can work on my own personal skills.. like. i might go to sum of the practices so i can just become a better player.. but i dont know what Keisha would think about that.. so i might/might not... we'll see

...goodbye...

..katie

Hello all,

Today was sucha good day man.. ive been so happy lately.. k well... it started with celtics.. then friday...

k well.. wednesday i had celtics.. and i was REALLY happy cuz i made first cut.. and i meen... i was so happy for that.. cuz like.. i was a little worried.. cuz thers alot of good gurls that wer ther.. but Keisha said that i "lookd more comfortable in my own skin"... and thats a BIG compliment too me :P... so i wuz really happy about htat.. and tmr.. im pretty sure shes making final cuts.. which is kool... hopefully ill do arright....

today.. sucha good day...

one of the students at st pats died four months ago from a seizure... and they honoured his death today.... with a memorial service.. then a tree planting... 

then they had an all day fun volleyball tournament... the tournament was so fun.. evryone was just goofing off.. playing around.. and i was just walking around.. socializing.. and hepling out.. i loved it man.. i got to see st amour... and all my frends.. man i had A LOT of fun...

last thing i gotta say is...

*REST IN PEACE MOUSA ABDEL HUSSEIN*

*WE LOVE YOU AND WILL NEVER FORGET YOU*

*YOU WERE AN ANGEL ON EARTH... NOW YOU ARE HOME*

...goobye..

...katie...